1 00:00:12,010 --> 00:00:16,650 I bet we've been together for a million years. 2 00:00:17,270 --> 00:00:21,730 And I bet we'll be together for a million more. 3 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:27,450 Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we did. 4 00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:33,010 And I can't remember what I ever did before. 5 00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:38,370 What would we do, baby, without us? 6 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:40,970 What would we do? 7 00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:05,150 What do you say, Alex? Up for a game of chess? 8 00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:07,670 I don't really think I want to play that. 9 00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:14,060 Well, no offense, but it's not much of a challenge for me. Oh, it doesn't matter 10 00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:14,839 who wins. 11 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,340 I just thought it'd be nice to spend a little time together. 12 00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:19,200 I'm going to beat you this time. 13 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:23,520 Dad, I'm 138 -0 against you. 14 00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:25,420 138 -0 -1. 15 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:27,340 You're forgetting that time we played to a draw. 16 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,960 Dad, I had my appendix out that day. 17 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,800 The anesthetic had worn off. 18 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,460 All right, Dad, all right, where do you want to play? 19 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,680 Anywhere, Alex, you pick. 20 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,480 Good. Let's play in my room, then. That way I can nap while you're thinking of 21 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,458 your moves. 22 00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:42,640 We'll see you bring us closer together already. 23 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,020 Does anybody need anything else from the kitchen? It's closing. 24 00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:49,480 I thought the kitchen stayed open till 10. 25 00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:53,320 Jeff's coming over to tutor me, and we're going to be studying in there. 26 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,360 Oh, yeah. How is the French coming, Mel? 27 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,100 All right, I guess. 28 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,260 Uh -oh. You don't sound very enthusiastic. 29 00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:01,580 Well, it's just that I'm not getting anywhere. 30 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,500 What do you mean? You've gone from a C - to a B in French since Jeff's been 31 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,429 tutoring you. 32 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,630 She meant she's not getting anywhere with Jeff. 33 00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:10,410 Jennifer? 34 00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:13,210 Come on, Mal. It's no secret how you feel about Jeff. 35 00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:14,470 Not anymore. 36 00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:19,470 Mallory, where are your priorities? Now, we hired Jeff to help raise your grade 37 00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:20,470 in French, remember? 38 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:23,110 We've accomplished that, Mom. It's time to move on. 39 00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:27,750 You can't force it, Mallory. 40 00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:30,730 Either the chemistry's there or it's not. 41 00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:33,990 It's just a certain je ne sais quoi. 42 00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:39,190 Last week when you were doing your idiom. 43 00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:40,710 Were you eavesdropping? 44 00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:42,810 I always do when you have a boy over. 45 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,190 I can't figure it out. 46 00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:51,190 I think he likes me. We laugh, we have a good time together. 47 00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:55,630 But whenever we talk too long about anything other than French, he freezes 48 00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:58,810 Jeff's a little shy, honey. Actually, I think it's cute. 49 00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:00,850 Shouldn't he be here by now? 50 00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:03,290 I'm usually eavesdropping by this time. 51 00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:06,730 Yeah, you're right. It's not like him to be so late. 52 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,380 I don't know. I didn't try it yet. 53 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,940 I heard voices inside, and I didn't want to interrupt. 54 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,380 You have your work cut out for you, Mallory. 55 00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:30,780 Uh, je suis, tu es, il est, nous est. 56 00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:34,340 I don't know. I'm always having trouble with these irregular verbs. 57 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,500 You just have to memorize them, Mallory. It's just like in English. 58 00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:40,660 I am, you are, he or she is. 59 00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:41,860 Well, I know it in English. 60 00:03:42,649 --> 00:03:44,190 Hey, you've got a knack for languages. 61 00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:46,950 He's got a really good sense of humor. 62 00:03:47,410 --> 00:03:48,550 Oh, sorry. 63 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:50,950 Getting back to conjugates. 64 00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:53,210 So how'd you get to be so good in French? 65 00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:56,170 I lived in Paris for five years as a kid. 66 00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:58,170 My parents were really mad. 67 00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:01,990 Actually, my dad was in the Foreign Service. 68 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,870 Oh, why didn't you ever tell me that? 69 00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:05,150 You never asked me. 70 00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:09,350 You're right. When we first met, I should have said, nice to meet you. Was 71 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,450 dad ever in the Foreign Service? 72 00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:11,910 Yes, he was. 73 00:04:13,739 --> 00:04:15,700 What do you do when you're not tutoring me? 74 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:18,519 I go to school. 75 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,100 I know. We go to the same school. 76 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:26,340 I meant personally. Do you have any sports you like? Any hobbies? 77 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,080 Any girlfriends? 78 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,120 Yes. What's her name? 79 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,400 No, I meant sports. 80 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:32,760 I play hockey. 81 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:35,440 Oh, I love hockey. Maybe we could play doubles sometime. 82 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:39,500 Yeah, that'd be great. 83 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,120 How about you? 84 00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:42,389 Any hobbies? 85 00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:46,210 Any other sports you like? Any girlfriends? I mean, boyfriends? 86 00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:48,510 No. Great! 87 00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:50,870 I mean, I'm surprised. 88 00:04:51,230 --> 00:04:53,490 A girl like you? No hobbies? 89 00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:54,970 No boyfriends? 90 00:04:56,470 --> 00:05:01,850 So neither of us has any sports or hobbies or boyfriend, girlfriend. 91 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,990 Except for hockey. Right. 92 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,570 Well, I guess that's about enough for today. 93 00:05:08,950 --> 00:05:10,710 Oh, it is? I was hoping we could go further. 94 00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:14,550 I'll just go out the back. 95 00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:16,050 That way I won't bother anybody. 96 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,850 So I guess I'll see you tomorrow. 97 00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:19,650 I guess you will. 98 00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:20,929 Au revoir. 99 00:05:20,930 --> 00:05:21,930 Au revoir. 100 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,060 Jeff gone already? Yeah. 101 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,340 So, Mallory, what happened? 102 00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,400 There's some stuff I couldn't hear. 103 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,000 Nothing happened. 104 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:50,320 Just when he starts to let down his guard and break the ice, he freezes up 105 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,080 again. Why don't you just throw yourself at him and get it over with? 106 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,780 Jennifer, would you stay out of my personal life? 107 00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:00,740 I'm trying to make sure you have one. 108 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,620 Honey, girls don't have to be afraid of letting boys know how they feel now. 109 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:11,280 These are the 1980s. What did girls do back then when you were a kid, back in 110 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,280 the 1880s? 111 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:18,080 Actually, it wasn't all that easy for us when I was a girl. I mean, if you were 112 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:22,160 interested in a boy, sometimes you just had to wait until he asked you out. What 113 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,160 if he never asked? 114 00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:25,360 Then you called your girlfriend and you set each other's hair. 115 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:30,180 I mean, if you liked a boy and he never asked you out, there's nothing you could 116 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:31,180 do about it, right? 117 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,640 Oh, yeah, there were some silly scheming things there that some other girls used 118 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:36,800 to do to attract guys' attention. 119 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,160 Like what? 120 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:45,020 Oh, you know, stupid things like you get to ask a friend to call his friend or 121 00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:50,280 write your name in his notebook or maybe put your picture in his locker. Or if 122 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:54,640 you really like the guy, you try to get your parents to buy the house next door 123 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,640 to his. 124 00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:57,980 Tell me, Mom. 125 00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,170 Did you write your name on the inside of the notebook or on the cover? 126 00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:04,590 Well, you know what I used to do? Yeah. 127 00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:08,230 Mallory, you're missing the point. 128 00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,290 Things are much simpler now. 129 00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:13,530 And if you're really interested in Jeff, wouldn't you just ask him out? 130 00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:15,590 I guess you're right. 131 00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:21,730 Sorry to bother you. I forgot my book. 132 00:07:22,130 --> 00:07:24,450 I could come back for it another time if it's more convenient. 133 00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:26,310 Jeff, come on in. 134 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,000 Mallory has something to ask you. 135 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,000 Uh, yeah. 136 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,660 Do you know if the house next year's is up for sale? 137 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,580 Are you gonna make a move for your dad or what? Don't rush me, Alex. 138 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:50,880 These things take time. 139 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,260 It's been a day and a half, Dad. 140 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,820 I think you could at least make your opening move. 141 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,580 opening move is perhaps the most important of the game, Alex. 142 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,120 It sets the tone for the entire contest. 143 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,240 Well, whenever you're ready, but remember, 144 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,460 I leave for college in September. 145 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,580 Okay. 146 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:16,560 Okay. 147 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,140 I'll wait here while you're mulling the... 148 00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:34,069 Bonjour, Jeff. 149 00:08:34,070 --> 00:08:35,070 Bonjour, Mallory. 150 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,089 Hey, Jeff. 151 00:08:36,090 --> 00:08:37,090 Hello. 152 00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:41,850 I guess we better leave you two alone to study and whatever else comes to your 153 00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:42,850 mind. 154 00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:44,270 Huh? 155 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,270 Well, I hate to kick you out of your own living room. 156 00:08:46,530 --> 00:08:48,630 Don't worry about it. We could use it any time. 157 00:08:48,970 --> 00:08:50,090 Come on, Alex and Dad. 158 00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:55,170 Huh? So come on in. 159 00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:56,650 Thank you. 160 00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,550 Can I get you anything? Something cold to drink? 161 00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:01,650 That would be nice, if it's not too much trouble. 162 00:09:02,030 --> 00:09:03,030 Oh, no trouble at all. 163 00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:04,450 Make yourself at home. 164 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,390 My dad forgot his book. 165 00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:12,630 Alex, can I ask you something? 166 00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:16,810 I was wondering if your sister Mallory... She likes you, Jeff. 167 00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:19,110 She does? 168 00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:20,650 That's great. 169 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,330 So what are you waiting for? 170 00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:23,610 Why don't you ask her out? 171 00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:27,710 I'm afraid. What if she says no? She won't. What if she says yes? 172 00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:33,860 Then you go out with her. 173 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:35,260 That's even scarier. 174 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,520 What if she doesn't like me? 175 00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:40,940 Jeff, I already told you, she likes you. She likes me as a tutor. 176 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,720 But what if she doesn't like me as a date? 177 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,320 How are you going to know unless you go out? 178 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,360 Here's some juice, Jeff. I squeezed the oranges myself. 179 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:54,620 That is a very nice thing to do for someone, Mallory. 180 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,340 I'm sure he appreciates it. 181 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,080 Yeah, I really do. 182 00:09:58,420 --> 00:09:59,800 May I squeeze something for you? 183 00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:08,150 Thank you very much. 184 00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:12,490 Well, uh, my work here is done. 185 00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:17,970 Mallory, before I drink this, I have to ask you something. 186 00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,270 There are no pits in it. 187 00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,190 That's great, but that's not what I wanted to ask. 188 00:10:22,410 --> 00:10:23,790 Wait, there's something I have to ask you first. 189 00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:27,190 Will you go out with me? No, will you go out with me? Yes. 190 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:28,670 Great. 191 00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:31,210 There's something else I have to ask you. What? 192 00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:33,910 Why'd you just say no when I asked you to go out with me? 193 00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:35,930 Did I say no? I meant yes. 194 00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:37,390 Great. 195 00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:39,830 Mallory, when you said yes... I meant yes. 196 00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:41,590 Now's time! 197 00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:52,290 Alex, 198 00:10:57,530 --> 00:10:58,810 do you mind? 199 00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,469 Sorry, Dad. 200 00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:03,770 I didn't realize. I was kind of caught up in this article. 201 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,680 Another thing, I may not be Boris Spassky, but I think you owe me the 202 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:12,040 of at least looking at the board from time to time, even though it is my move. 203 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,160 Dad, it's been your move for an hour and a half. Well, I'm ready now. 204 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:16,560 Well, good. 205 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,600 Whoa. 206 00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,780 Alex? Oh, sorry, Dad. 207 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:35,100 Oh, Alex, I see you wormed your way out of that one. 208 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,400 Didn't see that. 209 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,200 Well, 210 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,560 listen, I'll go studying at some place where it's a little more quiet. 211 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,660 I don't know how anybody's supposed to play chess with all that racket going 212 00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:03,620 Come on in. 213 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:05,480 Hello, Alec. 214 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,200 Hi, Jeff. 215 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,300 You're a little early for your date, aren't you? 216 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,700 Yeah, yeah, I am early. 217 00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:12,620 I was hoping to find you here alone. 218 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,060 You've got to talk to Mallory for me, Alex. 219 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,540 I can't go through with it. I can't go on the date. 220 00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:20,520 Jeff, you'll be fine. I won't be fine. 221 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:21,900 I'm too nervous. 222 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,320 I've gone over this date in my mind a hundred times. 223 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,720 There are only four times where I didn't spill something. 224 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,540 You'll be all right. Just, uh, don't order anything to drink. 225 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,900 Alex, the problem is more pervasive than that. 226 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,720 I should not be going out with Mallory Keaton. 227 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,520 She's beautiful. 228 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:41,180 She's graceful. 229 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,180 She looks gorgeous in a dress. 230 00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,080 All the things I'm not. 231 00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,300 Let's be thankful for some of that, Jim. 232 00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,600 I can't go through with it, Alex. 233 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,240 Just tell her I'm sorry. 234 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,040 Hey, wait. I'm not telling her that. 235 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,940 I mean, she's getting ready. 236 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:58,460 You're here. 237 00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,800 You should go out on a date. 238 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,020 How? 239 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,320 Haven't you even been on a date before? 240 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,480 Sure. I went out with Betty Bronson last week. 241 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,200 Sounds good. 242 00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:09,740 Betty's my cousin. 243 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,860 Okay, okay, it's not ideal, but the same basic rules apply. 244 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,880 Just follow this advice, you're guaranteed success on a date. 245 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,740 Really? Really. 246 00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:26,160 You see, luckily, all women are exactly the same. 247 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:29,860 They are? 248 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:36,620 Sure. See, I know you read a lot today in magazines and newspapers about the 249 00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:39,580 woman and independence. 250 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,960 Assertiveness. Why, it's simply not true. 251 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:46,840 Not? No. 252 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,680 Surprise, huh? 253 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,520 A little. 254 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:58,580 See, all you have to do to ensure success on a date is to assume total 255 00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:01,800 command from the minute the female appears. 256 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,140 See, you are the man. 257 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,520 You're in control. 258 00:14:09,539 --> 00:14:11,060 You make that moment. 259 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,060 Okay, Alex, I'll do it. 260 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,440 On one condition. 261 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,960 What? You've got to come, too. 262 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:23,260 A guy, a girl, and a brother are not what we're shooting for here, Jackson. 263 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,600 I need you there, Alex. 264 00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,160 You don't have to sit with us. Just be somewhere in the restaurant. 265 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,540 That way, if I run into trouble, I can come to you. 266 00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:34,500 I don't know. It's going to look pretty silly, isn't it? I mean, me sitting at a 267 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:35,500 table by myself. 268 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:36,800 Bring a date. 269 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,060 You can get a date on short notice, can't you? 270 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,120 Me? 271 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:43,460 Of course. 272 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:44,880 Well, okay, then. 273 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:46,300 Okay. 274 00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:57,220 Hi, Regina. 275 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,680 Yeah, it's me, your cousin Alex. 276 00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:09,010 Hurry up, please. 277 00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,270 I'm here, I'm here. Where are we going to sit? 278 00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:21,830 I don't know. The, uh, made her deal, Cetus. 279 00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:25,330 Okay, but don't let him put us near the kitchen like last time. 280 00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:27,490 Hey, that wasn't my fault. 281 00:15:27,890 --> 00:15:30,270 Why do we have to fight every time we go out? 282 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:34,370 Table for two? 283 00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:36,670 Something romantic. 284 00:15:54,609 --> 00:15:55,609 Small world. 285 00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,270 Excuse me for a second. 286 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:05,630 Alex, what took you so long? I've been trying to stall until you got here. 287 00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:08,930 Well, it took me a while to convince Jennifer to come. 288 00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:12,230 I'm here for the pizza, not the company. 289 00:16:13,810 --> 00:16:14,850 How's it going so far? 290 00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:17,370 Terrible. 291 00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:18,590 Well, what's wrong? 292 00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:21,470 Well, we've been talking about the weather for the last 20 minutes. 293 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:22,970 And that's been the highlight. 294 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:24,850 Okay. Okay. 295 00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:26,270 I'm here. 296 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,490 Everything is under control. 297 00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:30,650 Have you ordered yet? 298 00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:31,930 Not yet. 299 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,010 This is good. 300 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:37,630 Okay. First thing you do, order for both of you. Don't even ask her what she 301 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:38,710 wants. Just order. 302 00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:43,190 And when the waiter comes, insult him. It'll impress her. 303 00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:45,110 Are you sure? 304 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:55,879 I'm all right. 305 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:56,900 What are they doing here? 306 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,900 Oh, just out for a good time, I guess. 307 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,320 Are you ready to order? 308 00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:05,000 Yes, I think I'll have... She'll have the veal parmesan. 309 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,700 In fact, we'll both have the veal. Veal for two, and step on it. 310 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,020 Not the veal. 311 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:13,260 Something to drink? 312 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,780 Um, a root beer, please. Ginger ale, two. 313 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,099 Jeff, that was incredibly rude, not to mention the fact I wanted a root beer. 314 00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:25,750 You didn't like it? 315 00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:26,890 No. 316 00:17:27,030 --> 00:17:28,030 Excuse me. 317 00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:34,090 Alex, we're getting the pizza with bologna, and that's final. 318 00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:37,370 Okay, okay, Jennifer, don't make a scene. 319 00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:40,930 Alex, it's not working out. 320 00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:42,530 Why, what's wrong? 321 00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:44,090 I insulted the waiter. 322 00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:46,070 I ordered for the two of us, just like you said. 323 00:17:46,490 --> 00:17:48,230 And? She didn't like it. 324 00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:49,990 She liked it. 325 00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,630 Jeff, believe me, underneath... 326 00:17:53,290 --> 00:17:54,290 She liked it. 327 00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:57,590 Alex, I can't be like you. 328 00:17:57,990 --> 00:17:59,070 Suave and cool. 329 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,370 That's not me. 330 00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:01,950 That's not Alex either. 331 00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:07,850 Just go back to the table and start flattering. 332 00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:14,790 Tell her that her hair is like fine spun silk corn. That her eyes are like 333 00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:16,410 shimmering pools of beauty. 334 00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:18,370 I'm going to be thick. 335 00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:20,910 All right. 336 00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:22,070 I'll try that. 337 00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:30,130 Why do you keep going over to Alex? 338 00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:34,530 Mallory, your eyes are like shimmering pools of corn. 339 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,150 What? 340 00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:46,190 I wanted a root beer, not a ginger ale. 341 00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:49,890 Just trust me. I know what's good. I don't want this, Jeff. I don't want the 342 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:50,890 veal. You'll like it. 343 00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:54,910 Okay. Yeah. Let me get that. 344 00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:57,170 It's still edible. It didn't hit the floor. 345 00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:10,850 Okay. 346 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:12,650 Okay. 347 00:19:13,190 --> 00:19:15,950 Now I see what he's been doing. Very clever, really. 348 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:20,530 You see, Alex has been using the Nimzowich defense, Elise. 349 00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:25,430 But it's easily countered with the Sicilian variation of the King's Gambit 350 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,430 Decline. 351 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,950 Don't you think Alex knows that? 352 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,170 Knows what? 353 00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:36,110 Well, I mean, isn't it possible that the King's Gambit Decline is exactly what 354 00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:37,110 Alex expects you to do? 355 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,170 I mean, after all, it's his book. 356 00:19:44,170 --> 00:19:45,170 The fiend. 357 00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,330 Hi, Mallory. How was your date? 358 00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:51,750 It was fine. 359 00:19:52,070 --> 00:19:53,230 You're home early, aren't you? 360 00:19:55,690 --> 00:19:57,950 Something tells me she and Jeff didn't get engaged. 361 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:08,890 Jeff. Hello, Mrs. Keaton. Can I come in? Of course. Come on in. 362 00:20:09,190 --> 00:20:10,190 What happened? 363 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:11,850 I'm not sure exactly. 364 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:13,950 When Mallory left, she was really upset. 365 00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:15,910 I was hoping she was feeling better now. 366 00:20:16,230 --> 00:20:17,430 What went wrong? 367 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,669 I don't know. 368 00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:19,790 We were at the restaurant. 369 00:20:19,990 --> 00:20:21,610 We couldn't think of anything to talk about. 370 00:20:21,830 --> 00:20:25,390 I ordered something for her that she didn't want. I insulted the waiter. I 371 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,570 spilled drinks, food. 372 00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:29,170 I ruined her dress. Next thing I know, she was gone. 373 00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:33,730 Sounds like you did all the right things. 374 00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:37,150 I wanted so badly for this to be a special night. 375 00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:39,950 I even got Alex to come to the restaurant to help me. 376 00:20:40,550 --> 00:20:42,300 Uh -huh. Now we're... getting somewhere. 377 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,040 Why did you ask Alex to help? 378 00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:48,920 Well, you know, I'm not real good with women, and Alex is. 379 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,340 Who told you that? 380 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,040 Alex. 381 00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:56,160 He said that Mallory would like me if I were more like him. 382 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,900 Now I know why she ran out. 383 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,200 Alex, it didn't work. 384 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,000 Everything you told me was wrong. 385 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,100 Always assume that's the case with Alex. 386 00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:09,740 All right, maybe I was wrong. 387 00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:12,550 I gave you some advice and it didn't work out. 388 00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:15,070 I didn't charge you for it, did I? 389 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,310 It's not like you're out any money. 390 00:21:18,950 --> 00:21:20,310 That's the important thing. 391 00:21:21,910 --> 00:21:22,910 Oh, hi. 392 00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:26,970 Hi. I don't suppose you want to talk, do you? 393 00:21:27,710 --> 00:21:32,390 I want you to explain to me why you acted like Alex instead of you. 394 00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:36,290 Why don't we leave these two alone to talk? 395 00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:37,590 Good idea. 396 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:42,790 Jeff, if you want my advice... Whatever you do, don't apologize. 397 00:21:43,230 --> 00:21:44,230 You're the man. 398 00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:48,930 Mallory, I'm sorry. 399 00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:53,990 For the rudeness, or for the spilling, or for the general boorish manner. 400 00:21:55,150 --> 00:21:55,989 I don't know. 401 00:21:55,990 --> 00:21:57,210 What offended you the most? 402 00:21:58,030 --> 00:22:00,910 Why were you acting like that, Jeff? That's not like you at all. 403 00:22:01,550 --> 00:22:04,930 I thought you wanted me to be tough, and in control, and in command. 404 00:22:05,470 --> 00:22:06,910 I thought you'd like that in a guy. 405 00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:10,370 I like that in an airline pilot, not a date. 406 00:22:11,870 --> 00:22:13,490 I don't want you to be like that. 407 00:22:14,290 --> 00:22:16,570 Okay. I'll be however you want me to be. 408 00:22:16,930 --> 00:22:19,050 You don't like tough and boorish? I can be something else. 409 00:22:19,450 --> 00:22:20,550 Jeff, don't you realize? 410 00:22:21,210 --> 00:22:23,430 I went out with you because I like you. 411 00:22:24,130 --> 00:22:25,470 You're the guy I wanted to be with. 412 00:22:26,150 --> 00:22:27,210 Really? Yeah. 413 00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:32,090 But, Mallory, I'm clumsy. 414 00:22:32,630 --> 00:22:33,629 I'm awkward. 415 00:22:33,630 --> 00:22:35,170 I can't help it. I like you. 416 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,900 Do you think you still might be able to like me after tonight? 417 00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:42,620 Je ne sais, but I'm willing to give it a try. 418 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,380 Je ne sais pas. 419 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:45,900 You forgot the pas. 420 00:22:46,140 --> 00:22:48,860 You think with a negative, you have to put the... Jeff. What? 421 00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:50,420 Shut up. 422 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,760 Want to give up, Dad? 423 00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:05,340 Give up? Are you kidding? 424 00:23:06,830 --> 00:23:08,430 Dad, can't we go to bed? I'm tired. 425 00:23:09,250 --> 00:23:12,110 I hate to put a damper on this, honey, but the kids do have to go to school 426 00:23:12,110 --> 00:23:13,950 tomorrow. Or is that today? 427 00:23:14,690 --> 00:23:16,650 Come on, Dad, I'm tired of this game. 428 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,150 You're just prolonging your own agony. 429 00:23:19,730 --> 00:23:21,750 Not to mention the agony of your family. 430 00:23:21,990 --> 00:23:24,430 All right, Alec, night to clean night. 431 00:23:26,550 --> 00:23:27,550 Checkmate. 432 00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:31,450 Yeah! 433 00:24:02,570 --> 00:24:03,630 Sit, Ubu, sit. 434 00:24:04,090 --> 00:24:05,090 Good dog.